I just don’t know what to feel any more. I have so many different feelings that contradict each other.

One part of me wants to be the strong, independent black woman and say ‘you know what, I don’t need you. A white woman can have your sorry ass. ‘An alternate me says ‘I still want you, and I know you want me so let’s just make it work. It’s not anybody’s fault… it’s just the circumstances at hand. Right?’

The resentful me says ‘That bitch ain’t even half of me. She will never, ever be half of me!’ Some other part of me says ‘Who do you think you are, treating me like this? Fuck you’ Another, sluttier version, merely says ‘fuck me…’

One voice says ‘Nobody can tell me this is love!’ while the other says ‘I need you to tell me this is love’ There is a side of me that wants absolutely nothing to do with you. A side that craves to forget you and all of your bullshit. But this side is fighting against the side that knows no matter what you do I will still be here, and still wants to be here. The side that wants to start over. 

I just have no clue which version of me to trust, to follow, so for now I remain numb. Numb, in the middle of this crap. Numb but still hurting. I’m so lost, and you’re still so okay. Are you okay?

I ask myself whether I still want you, or I want the person I fell for a year ago… are you still that same person? I just don’t know anymore. I mean, this feels strange… so are we strangers?

 What do I do? I just do not know what do. The irony is, the only person who I really feel could give me advice right now is you… fuck.

"You left without a single word, not even sorry. It might’ve hurt worse to hear you say I’m leaving, goodbye."

"I was just thinking about you."

Six Word Story that affects me more than I care to admit (via insert-poetic-username-here)

"I held your hand It felt like a movie I made some plans but you were already moving on, now I’m stuck under a rainy cloud and you don’t seem to care but it’s alright ‘cause I’m tired of wasting all my time. My heart is hanging on the line."

it’s the worst feeling knowing you missed your chance.


when someone once wanted to be with you but you just didn’t feel the same. then you spend more time with them and you realize they’re all you’ve ever wanted. but by the time you realize it, they don’t feel the same.


People my age be having kids and gettin married and I’m over here like yeah I made eye contact with a boy once

"The problem with feelings is they demand to be felt."

(via kelcyno)

I feel like a fool.


I mean, I feel completely ridiculous for feeling all of this. I do. But what the fuck ever. I care. I hurt, a lot. I don’t know how to fucking deal. I’ve spent the past two days lying in bed trying to figure out what to do to deal, and I can’t. I really need someone to tell me.
It’s just not fair.
Logically I understand, but emotionally I cannot handle it.

Not The Only One


Knowing that you’re not the only one who feels a certain way is one of the best things ever.

"Only love can hurt like this
Must have been a deadly kiss
But it’s the sweetest pain
Burning hot through my veins
Love is torture makes me more sure
Only love can hurt like this"

Paloma Faith  (via just-vasco)